How to Release Fear and Doubt: A Candle Ritual

Opening personal spellbook with a colorful hand drawn mandala
Rituals are a powerful way to set your intentions into motion.
But before we begin, there are a few important things to keep in mind. The manifestation of your desired result will happen when the timing is right. This means patience is key—don't set strict expectations around when or how things will unfold. In fact, I view expectations as a block. 
Imagine your desired outcome as being behind a closed door. You stand on one side, eager for it to come to you, but your expectations—how you think it should happen, and when—are like locks holding the door shut. The more you focus on controlling the outcome, the more tightly those locks are secured. Instead of forcing it open, allow the process to unfold in its own time. The key to opening that door is trust—trust that what you want is on its way, and let go of trying to control every detail.
Once your ritual is complete, the best approach is to release it and shift your focus to something else—preferably something that brings you joy. Trusting that the result will come when it’s meant to is crucial.
There are two main things to be aware of when performing a releasing ritual:
1. Uncomfortable emotions or situations related to what you're letting go of may surface.
This is completely normal. When these feelings arise, sit with them and acknowledge that they no longer have a place in your story. Let them pass through. Depending on how deep-seated the fear or belief is, this can be difficult to face. I once heard the phrase, “Everything screams when it’s dying,” and that includes limiting beliefs and old narratives. The discomfort will pass, and afterward, you’ll feel lighter.  Breathing techniques, meditations and grounding practices can help during this time.  I find Youtube to be an excellent source for guided meditations, but as always use your own discenrment.
2. You need to replace what you’re releasing with something new. 
After releasing old fears, doubts, or limiting beliefs, it’s essential to actively invite something positive to take their place. Nature abhors a vacuum, so without consciously replacing what you've let go of, those old patterns can start to sneak back in. For example, if you're releasing self-doubt, you might replace it with affirmations of self-worth. I find that simple phrases work best.  So if you tell yourself a story about having bad luck start replacing that with "Everything always works out in my favor".  The key is to go general in the beginning so you don't create any resistance to the change.  In my own experience, when I quit smoking, I turned to creative outlets like knitting and Zentangling to occupy my hands and mind. Similarly, when you're releasing emotional or mental patterns, finding healthy activities or rituals that support your new intention is crucial to your success. Journaling, creating a vision board, or setting daily intentions can help solidify the positive changes you're making.
As you move forward with this ritual, remember that the process of release and renewal is unique for everyone. Be gentle with yourself, trust the unfolding, and stay open to the positive changes you're inviting in.

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